I hate corn

moan phone -

I hate corn

I hate corn.

It’s everywhere. In everything. It doesn’t even taste good.

If it doesn’t get stuck in your teeth, it makes it all the way through your system seemingly intact, undigested, nutritionally useless. A freeloading jerk. Human bodies lack the enzyme that breaks down cellulose, which corn hulls are made of. I’m sure you’ve seen little yellow kernels contentedly peeking out of your toilet bowl. It’s like they’re using us as transport, parasitic blonde passengers waiting for the next stop.

Hey, corn, lend me your ears... Fuck off.