I wish I was the room of requirement

moan phone -

I wish I was the room of requirement

I wish magic were a thing. I would be the Room of Requirement, only able to be seen by those who are worthy. If you can manifest me, here I am. If not, then you’ll have no idea of the possibility anyway. Continue with your banal existence until you die a boring death.

I’d also be unplottable, untrackable, unfindable. Geotagging is not an option. No, I can’t send you a drop pin, bro, I’m the goddamn Room of Requirement. If you don’t know, you don’t know.

Every interaction would be golden; I’d have only the best of conversations. There wouldn’t be a single dickhead. Going to the bank, I’d have a pleasant transaction, even an interesting or weird one, but nothing approaching a bad time.

I’d exist if you’re clever enough to imagine it, so you’d better be a smarto. If not, well, too bad. Go back to sleep, silly.